Thursday, May 12, 2011

I think I try to hard to be someone whose creative warm and interesting.

I want to have deep jumping thoughts that make you want more of me

today i feel i have a hard heart a heart that needs love

i haven't worn make up for days and its not cause i feel more beautiful in my natural

i have these rushes of believing in myself and those dreams i carry

but today iv not had one of those rushes

maybe that makes me normal

but iv never taken fondly to normal

and i don't really want to be considered that

id rather be a rebel seductive

wildly sarcastic

anything but normal

i entertain the idea that i may be warm captivating inspiring

but today i don't feel those either

and no one would know it because i wear a perfectly done up smile

iv always got another thing coming undone

and its taken me over

iv had person after person tell me your young

its ok your not married or don't have your dreams

you have so much time

but the problem is i know so clearly what i want

and its so very hard to stand by and watch your vivid dreams and hopes sit in the back seat of your life

i carry them along and it weighs me down

they are so beautiful i want nothing more than to pave the road with my dreams and run wildly across it

painting the scenery with the kisses of my soul

I think about living so much

ever since i was a little girl swinging into the clouds wondering about my future

im still that little girl thinking about my future

well what about now

what about the wind that rushes around my curls?

what about the soft spring smells as i swing?

what about today?

how do i let my dreams dance around even if im not perfect

or if my dreams really aren't "coming true"

can i accept if i never live the way iv dreamt?

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